Why is my ex hanging out with my friends
The Simple Truth: My Ex is Hanging Out with My Friends
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- It's time for our Simple Truth.
This is an e-mail question from our viewer Jason.
He asked, "My ex-girlfriend is becoming friends
"with everyone in my friend group,
"and I don't know how to handle it."
Truth Team, what say you?
- We can't control who our friends become friends with,
that's number one.
We have no right to tell them,
hey, you know, don't go and be friends with my ex,
but what you can do if that happens,
and makes you uncomfortable, is number one, state facts.
Never talk bad about an ex, go to your friends and say look,
this happened, the facts are we broke up,
can you please give me the privacy
of not letting that person know what I'm doing,
who I'm dating, and where I'm going,
because two things are gonna happen.
Either they came to your friends
to find out information of what's going on in your life,
or two, they really care about the friendship.
One or the other.
If they really care about friends,
they're gonna remain friends.
If they don't care about the friend,
and they're just trying to find information about you,
it's gonna fizzle out on it's own.
- But just like you kind of have like the girl code,
don't you kind of have the friend code?
- You do but you can't tell your friends
not to be friends with them.
If you have good friends, they will do it on their own.
They will respect you on their own,
and it happens all the time,
because what if you were in a five year relationship,
and your group became their group?
- Right, yeah you know I see this happen sometimes
when mutual friends start dating, you know there's like a--
- I'm a little territorial, sorry.
- Yeah, but you know this is something that can happen,
especially when people already are friends to begin with,
and then two of those friends start dating, what do you do?
And I think the most important thing is
it's not really about picking sides,
but you should tell your friends,
I have some ground rules.
If they're gonna be there, you need to tell me they're there
so I can decide if I wanna show up or not.
You might be bamboozled. - I hate surprises.
- That's right.
- I hate surprises.
Like, walk up, like oh they're just chillin' with us today,
what? - Yeah.
- Well if they're truly your friends,
they're gonna remain your friends,
and they're gonna know the difference.