Why Is My Boyfriend Mean to Me?

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Have you ever been with a guy  who s turned on you and raged:  

You did this! You did that! You re such a  you-know-what. I know who you really are, you  

[BLEEP]. That s a verbal attack.  

It s not just him being angry. It s  him trying to make you feel horrible.  

Why do men do this? And why  does it work so well on us?  

If you re like me, when you re told that not only  did you DO something wrong, but you ARE something  

wrong, you tend to take it on board. You think, Oh, gosh, really?  

You feel embarrassed of yourself. You  may not understand what he s on about,  

but you feel ashamed nonetheless.  

That s why those attacks are so successful. What he s hoping for is that you ll feel shame  

Shame that will keep you from  responding in an empowered way.  

He can see his blows land. He wants  you to feel bad about yourself.  

Because then he can control you.  

Hi, I m Amy Waterman. I am a love expert here at, and in this video I m talking  

to all of you who ve been raged at by a man. Look,  it s happened to me, too. So let s talk about it  

and why it happens and how we can deal with it  in a way that protects our fragile hearts.  

When a guy goes off at you, telling  you that you re this and you re that,  

what s your first thought? Is it:  

That s completely unacceptable. That s  not how someone who loves me behaves.  

Or it it: OMG, I m such a bad person ?  

It doesn t matter how ridiculous his  accusations are. You feel ashamed.