Why is my baby so clingy
Clingy Babies - What Every Parent Needs to Know (Including How to Stop The Tears)
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- If your baby was previously really happy,
but he's now starting to scream
as soon as you leave the room
and won't calm down until you come back,
then this is definitely a video that you need to watch.
In this video, I'm going to cover
why your baby has started screaming
and what you can do to get through this challenging time.
But before we discover why your little one's screaming,
make sure you check out that free PDF document
in the description box below,
which covers the developmental milestones
you can be expecting your little one
in their first year of life.
Just to give you an invaluable piece of mind,
as you'll know when to be expecting skills
and when to be concerned.
Believe it or not your baby's screaming
when you leave the room is actually a good sign.
So it tells us that your baby has now developed
an understanding of object permanence.
So they know that items continue to exist,
even though you can't see them.
So now when you leave the room,
your baby knows that you are no longer around,
but you still exist.
So they're wondering where are you,
and when are going to come back.
And secondly, it lets us know that your baby
has a strong attachment for you
and as a result wants to be near you and others
that they have a strong connection with
and feel safe around.
The phase that your baby is going through
is called separation anxiety and it is completely normal.
All babies go through it.
And what it is is the baby starts to cry
when their caregiver is out of their line of sight.
So this might be when the caregiver actually
leaves the home, or just goes simply into another room.
Separation anxiety is most common in infants
from eight to 12 months of age
and it tends to have an intense peak
at around nine months of age.
What's important to know is that separation anxiety
is generally a phase that your baby will go through
and it only lasts for a few weeks,
but it does reappear through multiple stages
throughout your baby's early childhood.
So now that we know that separation anxiety
is completely normal and it's just a phase,
let's talk about some things that you can do to try
and make these trying and often traumatic period,
a little bit easier for you and your little one.
The first thing you can do is try and expose your baby
to short periods where you're apart.
So if you've got another adult at home,
give the baby to the adult
so you can go have a shower or go outside
for a little while just so your baby gets used
to you being apart for a short period of time
and then coming back.
Now, when you're leaving your little one,
you wanna make sure that you say you're just gonna go
have a shower and then you'll be back.
And you wanna follow through on that.
So you wanna go and have that shower
and then come back to your baby
and then when you back say, I'm back
so your baby knows that you can leave,
but you're going to come back.
And they're only for short periods of time initially.
The other thing that you can do is if your baby
is crawling around the house,
then you can let them crawl into another safe room.
So where they're not gonna hurt themselves,
but they're out of your line of sight
for a short period of time,
because that lets them know
that although they can't see you,
they can come back to you
and they know that you're going to be there.
Now, before you leave your baby in a new place,
like a friend's house or the daycare center,
you wanna make sure that you take your baby there
without you leaving
so that your baby starts to become familiar
with the place and feel safe
before you actually leave them there by themselves.
If you can't do that,
you wanna make sure that you are giving your baby
some comfort items.
So if they have a comfort toy, such as a Snuggie,
you wanna make sure that they can take that item
to the place so that they can cuddle it
and get some comfort and reassurance
when you're not present.
The other thing is you wanna try and time these excursions
to new places when your baby isn't tired and isn't hungry,
because if they're feeling any of those things,
they're going to be less likely to be able
to tolerate any changes or potential stressors.
Now, when you are going to leave your baby,
you want to make sure that you do a few things.
So firstly, you wanna make sure that you settle your baby
into an activity or with another carer before you leave
so they're feeling comfortable and safe.
Also when you are leaving,
you wanna make sure that you actually tell your little one
that you're leaving.
If you sneak out of the room,
it is going to result in your baby
becoming more anxious and trying to keep an eye on you
at all the times to make sure
that you don't just disappear on them.
So you actually need to make sure that you say goodbye
to your little one.
And when you're saying goodbye,
you wanna make those goodbyes really short
and brief but firm,
so instead of hanging around and giving them multiple kisses
and then coming back and giving them multiple cuddles,
because they're getting upset.
You want to just say goodbye,
give them a kiss and then keep a really happy face
so that your baby doesn't think that you're scared
or worried about leaving them
because then that will also make them scared and worried.
But you wanna make sure that you're very happy and bubbly
and you give them that kiss, that cuddle.
And then you say, bye-bye, mommy will see you after lunch.
And then you walk out of the room.
You don't come back in because coming back in is just
going to confuse your little one.
And the final tip is to make sure you follow through
on your promises.
So if you said that you were the one
that was gonna come pick up your baby,
you need to be the one that goes and collect your baby.
Now, things will happen and that's totally fine,
but you need to follow through
because that will ensure that your baby knows that,
yep, mommy's gonna leave me or daddy's gonna leave me,
but it's okay cause they're going to come back.
And if they're at the age where you can tell them
that I'll come back after your nap
or I'll come back after lunch,
then you use those terms because babies don't understand
a concept of time, so more toddler end,
but they don't understand the concept of time.
So if you say I'm gonna come back this evening,
they have no idea what that means,
but they will understand, I'm gonna come back
after afternoon tea time.
And then you come back at that.
Now your baby is going to cry when you leave them
with a sitter, a daycare worker and other family members
and sometimes even the other parent.
But after a few minutes,
your baby will generally stop crying.
Particularly if they're given a distraction.
What you will see though,
is that as soon as you come back through that door
or come back into the room,
your baby is going to start crying again for you,
but it doesn't mean they're crying for that whole time.
So those are the tips to help you get through
these tricky period of separation anxiety.
Now, if you don't think it's just separation anxiety
for your little one,
then make sure you take them to their doctor
who can give you an assessment and more specific advice.
Make sure you click on that free PDF document
in the description box below.
And hopefully I'll see you next week
where I'll share more parenting tips and tricks.
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