Why is my baby so angry
How to Handle Being Angry at Your Kids | Anger Management
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I'm dr. Ryan fuller and I'm going to
talk to you a little bit about how to
manage anger when the anger is directed
at your children so at first I think
it's very easy for us to judge ourselves
and maybe even judge other parents when
we talk about being angry at our
children but this is a very very common
clinical problem in fact if you look at
anger across the board the most common
trigger for anger are going to be those
people in our families so it makes
perfect sense that parents are going to
get angry frequently with their children
with that said it's a serious issue
it's obviously related to child abuse
even though that's rare and we want to
take it seriously and seek out
professional help when that's necessary
so in the case of anger directed a child
there are a couple things to keep in
mind first it's really critical that
children have very clear understandings
of what is expected of them and what the
rules are likewise there need to be
consistent contingencies and what I
simply mean is parents have to
consistently if a child breaks a rule
notify that child what has occurred
explain what has happened and what the
next steps will be whether it's some
form of punishment or just an
explanation so that the child has very
clear predictable ideas about how
they're going to be treated in that
environment relative to the behaviors
they engage in that alone is going to
help hopefully reduce anger triggers for
the parent the second piece though is
having realistic expectations and
thoughts about the child's capacities so
oftentimes we see that we sort of
believe children are thinking the same
way that we are about situations and
what we know is that their development
in terms of their frontal lobe and
things like that in terms of planning
and foresight and thinking through
consequences just is not the same as an
adults that doesn't necessarily mean we
want to lower the standards we want to
make sure that our expectations are what
the standards are are realistic for our
child and we want to sort of set gradual
realistic goals for them to be reached
with consistent as I mentioned before
consistent contingencies for them so
that they can grow and succeed we want
to engineer sick
for them and be patient as they go along
the way doesn't mean we want to be
passive
we don't want parents to be
authoritative to give clear rules and to
enforce them consistently we don't want
them to be punishing children out of
something emotional like anger we want a
punishment to come if it's going to be
the case because a rule was broken that
was established beforehand and the child
understands the reason we don't want
punishment to be coming from anger
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